My Posts Are Done During Assignments

And I'm sure it's the same for everybody, is it not? Escapism is our common denominator.

So is forgetfulness, except for maybe some of us.

How many hours of the day do we go about our own realizing the true incandescence of the matter that Heaven is way too priceless for people who merely go about their lives.

Funny how we only savor the perilous road when we realize it's handpicked by Allah S.W.T. for us.

And funny, how easily do we forget - while being lullabied away from our senses with the pleasures of the world.

While being tricked by our own masquerade - do we even realize when we become holier-than-thou?

Or while being so caught up in the demands of day-to-day living?

The world is hell for true mukmins. And it's way too short a journey for us to pay the rightful price of Heaven.

Ask ourselves: do we deserve Heaven at the rate we're going?

The little girl with the uneven specks of face powder is heaven-bound, insya-Allah. And that thought alone keeps us going.

Yes, I may remember now. But it's a long path to tread and I'm human. I forget inevitably.

That's why, friend, I need you to remind me, always wake me up from my ecstasies.

"But seek, with the (wealth) which Allah has bestowed on thee, the Home of the Hereafter, nor forget thy portion in this world: but do thou good, as Allah has been good to thee, and seek not (occasions for) mischief in the land: for Allah loves not those who do mischief."
Al-Qasas: 77

Assalamualaikum.

Sweet, Beautiful Comeuppance

Dear people who conformed to the hypocrisy of the society, I pity you.

You bow your head to them and let them immobilize your courage by pointing a gun at your image.

Finding yourself wanting to please your oppressor? 

Smile, and kiss their ego for the sake of being in 'it'. Dear people!

I was not a delinquent nor unnaturally weird. It was my clear head you ridiculed.

I had a voice and I defied your pretentious norms.

That time I learned that I was weird, I realized my authenticity.

And you can only find the ruins of a beautiful stage, where did it all go, huh?

A beautiful mask you're afraid to take off. Would they still like you?

Live on in your little shell, dear. Go on living for their acceptance.

It's better to be hated for something I am rather than being loved for something I'm not.

Dear those whose sustenance was on trampling on other's insecurities.

Pity, you yesterdays' people. Shallow and forgotten.

P/S: After reading Wielding's The Altar of the Family. They should make one on The Altar of the Fake Friendships.

Assalamualaikum :)

LoveLetter To The Newest Member Of The 19th Club

8th April :)

Screw the poetries. You are truly a gift bestowed upon this wretched soul - a reason to look forward to weekends.
Just so you know. You are The Once-In A Lifetime Friend.
One who I can spend hours with without saying anything, and one who can equally stand my extreme bubbly-ness for hours.
One who would accept me the way I am, and who I would not have otherwise.
And one so unguarded for me to really see through... And one of the rare ones I can really open up to..
One who can trust me enough to let go, and one I can hold on to forever
Friends come and go. And you too. But you never fail to come back.
My dear, Andi Adlyana binti Andi Anwar. Your names may change: Andi, Dolly, Lyana. We've had our falls, but our beautiful moments linger.
But you are still you - your true colors, flawed and helplessly sincere - the best friend I can ever wish to have.
And all my best prayers to you, my future doctor. Happy 19th! Allah selamatkan kamu!
Let the rest of your days be blessed with equal sadness and happiness, and your heart never falter from holding on to your faith.
If you find yourself in a pitfall just submit yourself to His will and remember my name. You know I'll always be on your side, right?
Since I'm incapacitated for any gifts of materialistic value, this song is for you:



You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there 

Lots of love,

Your F4L.

Declaration Of War On Terror

-IZING ASSIGNMENTS. I'll win it, insyaAllah.

The to-do lists. Pasted on the studying wall, so any appetite for holidaying is killed. Congrats, dear self.

And so, warfare makes for a lesson, the hard way.

The war on self-destructibility, would be a dart on the bullseye. The assignments are not the villains, if you care to rethink.

How does that one-liner go again? Life's a climb, but the view is beautiful. Or rather, the abyss is grim. Try not to fall down. 

Of course that's not the way to see it, right?

No, it's not the abyss, not the peak. Not the climb either. The question is not what and how. It's who you do it for.

It's His blessings and your family's happiness that can keep you planting your feet forward. Not your own appetite for success, dear self, being the unambitious person that you are. 

Oh blessings, I'm one of those people lucky enough to have homeworks and catching up with studies as my primary focus for the time being.

But sad to say, being yours truly, I'm still trying to resist the temptation to kick back in leisure. 

Oh perseverance, it's time for your rare performances in my stage. And oh brain, please just cooperate? Time to justify your part in bringing me here.

What have I been mumbling about? About my duties? About my attempt at self-motivation?

Out of the question, right? So scratch it off. Screw the complications.

I don't need an answer. Because I made so many promises, and that knowledge is more than enough.

And oh yes. Assalamualaikum :)

* p/s I believe in my own blabbering. It makes me, me*

The Real Durratun Jannah

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

I will not write a memoir of her. At least not yet.

Because my humble ability can never dream to justify how much she means to us.

I will never use past tense for her, because she is already immortalized in our hearts.

She didn't leave us.

She just went before us. All of us are going to that place, inevitably.

It's just a matter of whether we would be qualified for a place in jannah alongside this sinless little angel.

Love: Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies

Then do ye remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and reject not Faith. O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere. And say not of those who are slain in the way of Allah. "They are dead." Nay, they are living, though ye perceive (it) not. Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return":- They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.

Noble Quran 2: 152-157

Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? they encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Messenger and those of faith who were with him cried: "When (will come) the help of Allah." Ah! Verily, the help of Allah is (always) near!

Noble Quran 2 : 214

On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden Like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith."

Noble Quran 2 : 286

Kukatakan kepada diri, "Allah lebih menyayanginya"
Baru kusedari yang rupanya Allah lebih menyayangiku.

Jika inilah jalan yang engkau pilih untukku mendapat keredhaanMu, maka aku bersyukur.

Of Screwed-Up Exams

Assalamualaikum.

The title says it all.

No. It was not said with a sad tone. A neutral one.

I thought of writing an inspirational piece. Because they say that the most beautiful pieces come from a broken heart. Not the case for me. Ehehe.

So I'll just be direct.

I miss Nenek, Bapak, Mak, Ani, Erin, Meli, Aishah, Nia, JenJen, Yaya, Pakcik Odak, Pakcik Unus, Santi, Iya, Kila, and Sapik so much that I know that I am so capable of sincere loving.

I miss waking up at home, massaging my mother, watching TV and my little sister's fights. I miss the porch and the kedai. I miss my mother's lekor. I miss everything about home.

I miss not knowing how it may feel to miss them. But I'm okay :)

I know that I am okay, eventhough I  screwed my Economics test. Because I tried my best, and am planning to try harder.

There. My masterpiece :)