If You Had 1 Million

This was one of the questions in the interview.

I was asked first.

I immediately answered, well, I'll give it to this initiative in which kids at the lower level classes can get a focused education. Because I saw firsthand how the kids struggle under the weight of this one-size-fits-all education.

You'll keep none for yourself?, they asked.

Well, maybe I'll take $10,000 for myself and my family.

Just $10,000?

$10,000 is a lot, I answered.

When they moved on to the others, they gave answers which I didn't even think of. Giving it to their family, paying for their siblings' education, etc.

Then I wondered if my answer was puny. I was probably high-charged in the interview atmosphere that I gave answers that I didn't mean.

But you know, I answered it that way because I didn't fully understand the context of the question. I was thinking under the assumption that the $1 million will never come to me for no reason. People just don't randomly get that kind of money. There must somewhat be a reason that money came into my hands.

When they asked the question, I really thought what they meant was, if you get $1 million from the government, where would you direct that money to? And I gave my most logical answer at the moment, because the education system is the sector I have been most involved in, as far as my life goes. $10,000 is a lot as a bonus.

When my friends and my friend's father were fetching me back, we discussed our answers. One friend said that he would have gotten a Ferrari (he didn't answer that in the interview, of course). And my other friend said that she would definitely invest in real estate. Her father thought exactly the same.

$1 million isn't a lot nowadays, they said.

And you know what, they're completely correct. That $1 million would have depleted instantly if you use it unthinkingly. If you invest well you may get some return, but even then the money is still finite.

I didn't think of the logistics of the plan when I answered. I just said it on a whim. If you're asking me a hypothetical question without any consequence, then I'll answer it with a similar level of import (low). That's why the answer flowed out of my mouth so effortlessly.

If they had asked me that properly, I would have said, take your money back, I don't know a single thing.

But anyway. I suppose this kind of question reveals the line of thinking that you have.

Those who answered that they will give it to their family, probably have strong familial ties and a strong sense of responsibility towards them. Those who answered in terms of investment, are probably realists who can put their answers in a proper perspective. These people are your best bet when it comes to getting things done.

If you answer unthinkingly like myself, you probably have no sense of consequence, unless you really mean to transform your thoughts into reality. I have none of that, for now.

Usual Ponderings

I wonder where I'll end up.

I wonder if I'll be happy.

I wonder if one day I'll wake up and realise that I don't actually want to be a lawyer.

That I somehow lucked my way into something I don't actually want to do.

I'm not cut out for it. I can go for some time on my lawyer-to-be mode. Confident, outspoken, friendly, with a strong sense of self-worth.

Then I realise: wow that was tiring.

Do I want to live the rest of my life doing something that takes too much out of me emotionally?

Is where I am all a big coincidence?

That this is all a big joke, and someday, I'll have to give this up, and start all over again.

It's not like it can't be done.

But I wonder, if where I'm going now, is where I'm going to be happy.