Thank You

My greatest respect go to people...

who choose to be good.

Even when circumstances make it so perfectly understandable for them to be otherwise.

To those, who choose to believe in the good in people, and react to anything with empathy, and stay true to what they hold to despite of how the world will respond, and whatever afflictions they may bear as a result.

You make me really believe that sincerity and kindness are not just things I read of.

You remind me that I want to, and can become, a better person, by choice.

Paying The Price Of Procrastination

I finished my bibliography in an hour. Unheard of. Printed the whole thing and wrote the wordcount for each page. Raced my way to the services office and found the front cover. Staple. Ugh. Wrongly. Another try. Fill the details... Submit.. Ah heck.

"3.05" said the guy behind the service counter. I was ready to put on my I'm-ready-to-accept-any-form-of-punishment-but-I-would-very-much-love-a-bit-of-discretion face, until he said, "This is the last one for today"

"You mean mine is exempted?"

"Yeah, yours is safe. Cheers"

Suddenly, those all-nighters seemed to come down to a (rather undecidedly good or bad outcome - I haven't received the paper yet - not looking forward to either) conclusion.

La Tas'aluni

Don't ask me about my life, they're the secrets of life.
It's a grant, an ordeal, it is a world of desires.
I have sold it to God and then went away in the procession of the guided ones.


"O ye who believe! Shall I lead you to a bargain that will save you from a grievous Penalty? That ye believe in Allah and His Messenger, and that ye strive (your utmost) in the Cause of Allah, with your property and your persons: That will be best for you, if ye but knew! He will forgive you your sins, and admit you to Gardens beneath which Rivers flow, and to beautiful mansions in Gardens of Eternity: that is indeed the Supreme Achievement. And another (favour will He bestow,) which ye do love,- help from Allah and a speedy victory. So give the Glad Tidings to the Believers"
As-Saff: 10-13.


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It's a lonely world, I suppose, when you are an introvert. You would drift back to living inside your own mind, and, no matter how much you value solitude, there comes a point when you would appreciate nothing more than a diversion from yourself.


Your judgment of your own life is inevitably constrained within the limited ranges of your own experience, and may I say, you will become too self-absorbed. In some occasions life will feel like it is on the upper end of the spectrum - but most of the time, it is a downward spiral.


So that's how I explain depression: when one is consumed with self-dissatisfaction, with awareness of his/her own inadequateness of what is perceived to be capable of making one worthy of happiness and contentment.


Get outside that little universe, seek for air. Don't let your inner preoccupations divert you from the world, which deserves your attention. That is not the reason you are here. Your existence is not attributed to folly.


That's where happiness and contentment comes from - from the knowledge that you are doing yourself and everything you are beholden to, justice - by giving it your all. Your life is not yours to throw away. Give it to God, and what you looked for when you lived your life otherwise - and much more would be granted to you. 


Let this be a reminder to me. To always come back to where I feel happy and fulfilled.

Contentment Is Yours (If You Want It)

It's... normal.

Disenchantment is normal. Sometimes life felt like a scene out of your life's story and sometimes it felt like another weary part to play.

And, only after almost two decades of being alive only did I find the missing puzzle between living and purpose. I used to hear people harp on about the meaning of the thing we are doing here - living, and I nodded vigorously at most because I could not find any part of me that disagreed - but neither did I find my affirmation backed by any sort of mental appreciation of that very belief.

Understanding is the most beautiful gift - and a clear knowledge of your purpose is, I believe, the start of everything.

Because life used to depend on where you were, emotionally. And when you learn to see it without being tampered by our natural tendency for situational judgment, life acquires a form you could understand - events that felt out of our control becomes less frustrating. And disenchantments, though still a part of one's peaks and troughs, becomes... okay.

We start knowing that things that are out of our control are okay, as long as we choose to do the best with what we can.

Insya-Allah.

And. My words just refuse to take form in a manner I hoped.