Note to Self

If I want to get better, I have to struggle. I'll have to pay for a level-up through bitter experience and hard work.

Flashy and Plain

I read lots of manga, and I can call this wisdom:

While you may not turn out like other people, like you aspire to, you can be yourself. You can only be the best that you can be. 

Don't be discouraged when all you can be is yourself. You are not a broken tool. You can do a lot with yourself. You don't necessarily have to do what others do to be useful.

A Week In

Don't apologise for nonsensical stuff.

Don't be needlessly afraid.

Don't take things personally.

Three things to internalise.

Everyone Is Busy

They're not unfriendly. They're just perpetually busy. Always off somewhere, doing stuff. Even when they're around their eyes are glued to their work. If I were them I would wish for the new kid to not make small talk just for the sake of it.

I wonder if this is how rich kids feel when their working parents have no time for them. I am so spoiled to be expecting the new-person treatment, to be shown around, to be talked to.

Truth be told I've never been around these types. Maybe if I think of myself as the heroine who's going to undergo some serious character development I'll endure all these changes and difficulties and be glad I took the plunge.

But in the meantime, I am intimidated beyond belief.