It's all predetermined. How I would do in my finals, whether I would pass or not, and whether I would become all that the 17-year-old idealist in me, aspired to be, that too is long decided.
All I have to do is do my absolute best, and tawakkal.
Yes, I have been thinking that if I pull this off, by mid-December I would be looking back in reminiscence of my little trip down identity crisis stage, and where I found my passion again.
But I'm not at mid-December. I'm two days away from my finals and a LOT could happen before that.
And all that has happened up to this point, was really for the best. So yes, I may or may not fly to Australia. But before that I resolve to give my all.
I'd be lying if that thought alone did not slit my meek mental strength hard, the thought of disappointing my family, and the embarrassment they and I myself have to bear.
But not yet. I'll get down to all of that later. Life will go on anyway, like it always does. Now it's time to do what I can.
Now I will get back to forcing myself to churn out an inspirational, sob-worthy statement of purpose and Legals essays.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
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