Well, last week's essay assignment was on the good of nursing homes. Even as the teacher gave us some guidelines I was moaning since I knew it would be hard to do.
I mean, it's hard to write something when you don't believe in it, right? Of course it is possible, but yeah, I would despise it later.
So I procrastinated..
And procrastinated..
The next thing I knew it had to be passed up on Friday. Argh! So I brought myself to do it (amid much yawning during staying up).
I tried, but I was out. It was just too hard. I mean, nursing homes may be for people who want to ensure their parents' well-being (safety, boredom, so on so forth) but come on, they're just excuses.
Those children who want to get rid of their parents are using the most feel-good method and later plays verbiage by saying that it's for their beloved old folks' own good. And I don't care if I'm being fair or not, I don't care if I'm talking about things I haven't really grasped yet.
Although I never imagined myself on their shoes, I'm not saying that I would never ever be tempted to do it. Never say never. (Nau'dzubillah!)
I just think they're excuses.
I mean, why wouldn't people admit their mistakes? I didn't confine that question at others but me.
I know it's my fault that I'm not very likeable. I don't like most types of people. And that's very evident.
I know it's my fault that I always have economical problems. I'm not very thrifty and I'm not much of a hard worker to maintain my qualities.
I know it's my fault I'm so constantly busy. The responsibility is within my limits, it's just me being a procrastiNAST.
I know it's my fault I'm not good at academics. I know I have been lazy, disrespectful, unpatient, everything.
I know it's my fault my parents are struggling. I have always made life hell for them, and not being appreciative after they put up with my unbearable antics.
And so on so forth...
They're just mistakes. I don't think I'll ever learn without making mistakes. And admitting them.
Without all the excuses.
So here's the deal. I'm going to take my father's hand to the parent-teacher-student conference, head down, ready for all the criticism, accusations, allegations.. All of them.
By then I would remember about my unfinished essay that would have to be submitted within two days (after asking for expansion of deadline - speacial case).
*sigh* No excuses.
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