Let's not be told how to think by other people's opinions. Because we've seen how this quest for a stance, driven by the need for conformity and solidarity, unguided by independent reasoning, fail spectacularly in the face of intellectual challenge. So seek to feel, and sense with all autonomy, issues worth of our attention. Be unafraid of criticisms of people who wish to disagree, for differences are never grounds for naming and shaming, for those whose opinions do matter. All prevailing ideas that remain to this day are the result of original thinking and thoroughly informed choices, and they seldom go unchallenged by simpler, yet more popular and convenient lines of thinking.
Long-winded. In other words, have control over the entity God has granted you. Because we know the hazards of blind conformity from history. I have been a victim of this form of laziness. (Still am, maybe).
Jun 25, 2011
At 1 A.M
It's past one and I can't sleep.
I used to somehow think that I am under-appreciated. Sometimes treatments are unfavorable and I tend to wonder whether life would be better had I been given more. Better looks, better education, richer and cooler family perhaps?
Despicable, I know.
But not really. Had I been granted all those better things in life people's treatment towards me would have been worse.
Why?
Simple. Because it was my own conceitedness and total self-absorbed-ness (grammatically incorrect, but you get the point) that drove people away. I would have been more of an airhead who would not have known blessings if it slapped me in the face. It's good that some of these things were not given to me, actually.
It must have taken an awful lot of others to bear with this weakness of mine. And I am surprised that no one has really taken the easy road of pointing it out, instead leaving me to discover this on my own.
Had anyone told me long ago, that I'm self-obsessed... I would have found it an unjustified attack upon my poor, misunderstood soul.
So here I say, sorry. I'm sorry to those who have had to bear this kind of thing from me. My family, especially my soulsister Ani who I used to throw all my complaints of the world at (only to be told to speak to the wall). Dolly, for those unbearable times you had to tolerate my belief that the world revolves around me. Fauziah, for those unwarranted attacks upon your behavior and my failure to realize my own (you have been too mild to go beyond silent retaliation). And Fatima, for my superiority complex issues which helped me deal with my insecurities. And others who have suffered this inconvenience as well.
Bapak was right when he said that I was arrogant. Because there's no getting around this: I was arrogant.
But here I am, perhaps humbled by the insignificance of my existence in the very least, have found a bit of clarity on the subject of why people found me disagreeable.
I hope this is a sign of growing up.
I used to somehow think that I am under-appreciated. Sometimes treatments are unfavorable and I tend to wonder whether life would be better had I been given more. Better looks, better education, richer and cooler family perhaps?
Despicable, I know.
But not really. Had I been granted all those better things in life people's treatment towards me would have been worse.
Why?
Simple. Because it was my own conceitedness and total self-absorbed-ness (grammatically incorrect, but you get the point) that drove people away. I would have been more of an airhead who would not have known blessings if it slapped me in the face. It's good that some of these things were not given to me, actually.
It must have taken an awful lot of others to bear with this weakness of mine. And I am surprised that no one has really taken the easy road of pointing it out, instead leaving me to discover this on my own.
Had anyone told me long ago, that I'm self-obsessed... I would have found it an unjustified attack upon my poor, misunderstood soul.
So here I say, sorry. I'm sorry to those who have had to bear this kind of thing from me. My family, especially my soulsister Ani who I used to throw all my complaints of the world at (only to be told to speak to the wall). Dolly, for those unbearable times you had to tolerate my belief that the world revolves around me. Fauziah, for those unwarranted attacks upon your behavior and my failure to realize my own (you have been too mild to go beyond silent retaliation). And Fatima, for my superiority complex issues which helped me deal with my insecurities. And others who have suffered this inconvenience as well.
Bapak was right when he said that I was arrogant. Because there's no getting around this: I was arrogant.
But here I am, perhaps humbled by the insignificance of my existence in the very least, have found a bit of clarity on the subject of why people found me disagreeable.
I hope this is a sign of growing up.
Jun 19, 2011
That's How The Blame Game Is Played
Susceptible people. Go the the source instead of flailing around people who are as susceptible as you are. Please.
Jun 18, 2011
Jun 9, 2011
Stop, Smell The Books
"You have really good books in here, sir"
"Ah, well, I try"
"Where do you get the books from?"
"It's hard work, really. Book fairs, travels to secluded shops. But all worth the effort. I try to sell only books I would read"
And in this stall selling second-hand books, I found a man whose claim is his belief in his passion. I found more than just a place to acquire really good books at a low price. I found a treasure date, one I would await most Thursday for the rest of my stay here.
"Ah, well, I try"
"Where do you get the books from?"
"It's hard work, really. Book fairs, travels to secluded shops. But all worth the effort. I try to sell only books I would read"
And in this stall selling second-hand books, I found a man whose claim is his belief in his passion. I found more than just a place to acquire really good books at a low price. I found a treasure date, one I would await most Thursday for the rest of my stay here.
May 24, 2011
Thank You
My greatest respect go to people...
who choose to be good.
Even when circumstances make it so perfectly understandable for them to be otherwise.
To those, who choose to believe in the good in people, and react to anything with empathy, and stay true to what they hold to despite of how the world will respond, and whatever afflictions they may bear as a result.
You make me really believe that sincerity and kindness are not just things I read of.
You remind me that I want to, and can become, a better person, by choice.
who choose to be good.
Even when circumstances make it so perfectly understandable for them to be otherwise.
To those, who choose to believe in the good in people, and react to anything with empathy, and stay true to what they hold to despite of how the world will respond, and whatever afflictions they may bear as a result.
You make me really believe that sincerity and kindness are not just things I read of.
You remind me that I want to, and can become, a better person, by choice.
May 16, 2011
Paying The Price Of Procrastination
I finished my bibliography in an hour. Unheard of. Printed the whole thing and wrote the wordcount for each page. Raced my way to the services office and found the front cover. Staple. Ugh. Wrongly. Another try. Fill the details... Submit.. Ah heck.
"3.05" said the guy behind the service counter. I was ready to put on my I'm-ready-to-accept-any-form-of-punishment-but-I-would-very-much-love-a-bit-of-discretion face, until he said, "This is the last one for today"
"You mean mine is exempted?"
"Yeah, yours is safe. Cheers"
Suddenly, those all-nighters seemed to come down to a (rather undecidedly good or bad outcome - I haven't received the paper yet - not looking forward to either) conclusion.
"3.05" said the guy behind the service counter. I was ready to put on my I'm-ready-to-accept-any-form-of-punishment-but-I-would-very-much-love-a-bit-of-discretion face, until he said, "This is the last one for today"
"You mean mine is exempted?"
"Yeah, yours is safe. Cheers"
Suddenly, those all-nighters seemed to come down to a (rather undecidedly good or bad outcome - I haven't received the paper yet - not looking forward to either) conclusion.
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