"Every time you commit one more mistake, you feel you can't repent and that it's way too late. You're so confused. Wrong decisions you have made haunt your mind and your heart is full shame. But don't despair and never lose hope, because Allah is always by your side. Turn to Allah, He's never far away. Put your trust in Him, raise your hands and pray: Ya Allah, guide my steps, don't let me go astray, you're the only one who can show me the way"
If you relapse, make another start. If you betray that start, make another. Go on and on. Just be sure you really mean it each time you work for a new beginning.
It's all about that first step. It's all about the little things, it's all about the choices. If you made a wrong choice you will know it is wrong. And tell yourself everytime you walk in guilt, that another second spent on not turning back is multiple the effort you will need to forgive yourself. And self forgiveness, can only be found through repentance.
My friend, we all know why. We know that we've gotten lost, because we fail to listen to that voice inside our heart, that's asking us for a sense of purpose. We've ignored that sound because we fear we could not find the answer even if we look for it. It has simply became automatic that repentance is only for days, days which do not include today. Repentance is for that someday. The time would come. In the meantime, just keep waiting.
No.
Turn around, turn around. It's your uneasiness, as a way of driving you away from hard work. And your insides will learn to shut up if you keep walking long enough. But you know well of the day when you feel down, when you feel your heart longing for something more. Something more. Something more.
More than the taxing demands of ambition, more than the ecstasy of social niceties. More than what they call 'living'. By the end of the day, you'll feel worn out by your own shallowness.
Just know, you can always turn around. You should care, because it's you. Just take that difficult turn, make a step. Move the other foot forward. Maybe at this point you would feel like standing around and giving it a rest, it's maybe more favorable to keep walking as you have. But don't, I beg you, don't.
Take another step. The farther you walk away from where you contemplate giving up, the stronger you get. If you take a brief turnaround, back to where you spent what felt like a while ago, just know time is still waiting around, patiently, for you to give it another try.
Don't let time give up on you.
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