Sorry

Actually, I take everything back.
I've been so busy living in privileges which made me forget where I came from, and what should really matter to me.
Forgive me for the kufur nikmat. I am very, very lucky and I could do much better than think of all of it as a God-given right.

Half-Time Ramadhan

This blog post is wonderful. Please read it. 

http://iqbalsyarie.blogspot.com/2011/08/half-time-ramadhan.html

Words

don't go to sleep 
this night
one night is worth
a hundred thousand souls

the night is generous
it can give you
a gift of the full moon
it can bless your soul
with endless treasure

every night when you feel
the world is unjust
never ending grace
descends from the sky
to soothe your souls

the night is not crowded like the day
the night is filled with eternal love
take this night
tight in your arms
as you hold a sweetheart

remember the water of life
is in the dark caverns
don't be like a big fish
stopping the life's flow
by standing in the mouth of a creek

even Mecca is adornedwith black clothes
showing that the heavens
are ready to grace
the human soul

even one prayer
in the Mecca of a night
is like a hundred
no one can claim
sleep can build
a temple like this

during a night
the blessed prophet
broke all the idols and
God remained alone
to give equally to all
an endless love

-Rumi.

Differences

No pity for you, my friend.

You are sincere and you try.

How does one know, by the end of the day?

It's your choice.

tl;dr

Uni in a word.

Overwhelming, Innit?

Stolen from here.

I have a pencil that wishes to say more.
And an eraser. To stop me from saying too much.
Because I myself am sure.
That I won't truly say what I feel.
I've learned to pretend to feel.

So give me time, and let me come to it.
I'll ask you to walk with me.
And let's walk together.
The trip won't feel as lonely then.

May I Speak?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I'm in a state of confusion. Never before have I been more aware of this. I'm struggling to find my stance in clouds of other people's thoughts and ideologies, and I have been raised to prefer some to the other. And yet the little trips outside that caters for my curiosity made me recoil in uneasiness.

I know very little, and therefore think very little. My original thoughts are constrained to that of what other young individuals yet to truly form their views on the world think. I am afraid to speak, and afraid to seek. 

I'm afraid of other people's influence over me. I'm afraid of people tailoring their knowledge over their wants and needs. I'm afraid of bigots. I'm afraid of the power of the masses made up of undecided people like myself.

The only things I am now certain of is that Allah is my God, and the Prophet s.a.w. is Allah's messenger. I am certain that I don't know what I am supposed to do but go back to what the Prophet communicated to me.

The First Revelation in itself asks us to read, to go in a pursuit for knowledge with Allah in mind. I do not know and therefore I wish to learn. Learn sincerely, not to merely be told of what's right and what's not. Opinion should only be formed when one has learned. It can be communicated but not be forced upon.

I wish not to be alienated from what I am trying to seek. I wish not to be pressured into conformity. I wish not to find this pursuit soured by the judgmental and holier-than-thou ones. And I believe I speak for the rest of us trying to find our feet in this world.

Or maybe I'm the one who lacks empathy, ranting out of ignorant frustration.